oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
