i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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