I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Are we still banned from the library?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I had to cum in my sink.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
