u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
