do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
