Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
