Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
