Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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