are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
