haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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