So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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