Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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