Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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