let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
