I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
