Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
