Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
