listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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