we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
