Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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