Taylor Swift is so right about you.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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