Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize