he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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