he wants to bone in the snuggie
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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