worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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