I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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