So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
