Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize