Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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