guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No I am not eating basil off your cock
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
