Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
