ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
