You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
