Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
