if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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