If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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