Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
