Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
