The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
