Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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