When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
