Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
zippers are such a cool invention
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
