Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
