I CAN MOONWALK!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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