Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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