So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
