At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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