is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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