guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
