i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
