He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
