whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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