Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
