So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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