turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize