its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
