it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize