U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wish life had little blips of pornography
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize