I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
