Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
