is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
