then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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