i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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