Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize