I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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