fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
