This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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