Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
