I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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