I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
