I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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