do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
