Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
nutella sex= disaster
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
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