That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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