His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize